POWER of the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Life is very busy now.  I have so many projects I am working on now that I have not had time to update this blog but I have been working in a lot of areas related to it.  

Just the other day I surfed to another blog and saw something that seemed to have been written for me.   It was on the blog of Dov Barron  and saw the following:

What if the shit is a gift?

What if what’s going on right now in your life is the greatest gift you could have ever imagined, however there is no way for you to know it for at least 3,6, 12 or 36 months from now?

What if the heat of your situation is what is needed to hatch your dream?

What if ‘this’ hatches a passion within you that under any other circumstances you couldn’t have seen let alone embraced?

What if ‘this’ was is a game you play with yourself?

What if this become your best way to let go of what you no longer needed?

What if this is all a lesson in learning to trust yourself?

What if all this is simply to have you see what really matters?

What if this is your wake up call?

And what if you woke up?  What would you be waking up from?  What would you be awakening into?

What if you’ve been so focused on what might happen that you’ve blinded yourself to what is happening that’s great.

What if in truth this is a precious jewel wrapped in crap? Would you be willing to take the chance of getting your hands a little dirty in order to really find and recognize that jewel?

I can relate to everyone one of those lines having recently come out of the most shitty experience of my life. 

At first I spent a lot of time in reflection and asking how I could have attracted a sick psychopath into my life.  How he so easily sabotaged my relationship with my girl friend and turned her against me taking my baby son away from in the process.

The part that really got to me was that he did it for fun.  I have since learnt a lot about this very sad individual and been in contact with members of his family who have basically disowned him and apologised to me for the pain he put me through.

The cruellest irony is that in engaging and fighting him I have pushed them closer together.   Had I handled it differently he would have had his jollies breaking up my relationship and moved on long ago. 

In her he has found a girl he can control.   She buys drugs for him and they use together.  I know she has been living in fear as once she called an ex-friend crying and telling her that I had people following them around and had a contract out on their life.   Wow me!  Amazing what a combination of a manipulative lying psychopath and drugs can do to someone who is otherwise very intelligent.   Apparently fear is a common control method a psychopath uses in a relationship.

Last week I was advised that a notice had been placed in the newspaper with an Arrest warrant for me.  Upon further investigation I have determined that it was for non support of my child.  Again this is the psychopath playing games.  

They both disappeared last year as he has arrest warrants in two countries.  I tried to send money via her family but they refused to accept it telling me I needed to sort things out with her directly which of course I could not do.   They have always been able to contact me but chose not to and now have quietly lodged a case against me just to obtain an arrest warrant and publish my picture in the paper in an attempt to embarrass me.

I am so far beyond that.   In fact I totally amazed myself over the next few days by being totally relaxed.  I felt an inner peace and total lack of concern about the matter.   I have no intention of going back where they are anyway.   Not while the psychopath is on the scene anyway and I know that it is only a matter of time before he moves on.   

I just need to wait.   Even if he read this and out of his determination to win at all costs resolved to stay with my ex-girl friend he will still eventually move on.   A psychopath can modify or curtail their behaviour only for a short period but their sickness is hard wired in their brain.  He will move on sooner or later.

Anyway back to my reflection.  I have come to realize that I really did attract everything that happened into my life. 

I am actually very loyal person and the other thing I really could not understand was how someone that you love could be so evil to you.  How could they intentionally hurt you so much.  At first I blamed the psychopath but when I really analysed the situation the ex-girlfriend was a very active participant in the nasty games they played on me.

I have finally realized that she is still a victim despite her very active participation, and I realize that I have a responsibility to help her once the psychopath does abandon her.   I have obtained an additional ATM card already for that purpose. 

I have also realized that I neglected her emotionally and was so selfish and preoccupied with my own feelings that I allowed the tragedy to unfold.  I basically did everything wrong in terms of my reaction.

 There was a time when she was constantly testing me and demanding things from me but it was the psychopath that was pulling the string.  So of course I failed each test.    The psychopath was also pretending to be my friend and feeding back lies and half truths to her.  I really had no chance.

I say I had no chance but I was acting instinctually.  There are fundamental principles in life that can guide your actions and if you adhere to these then things can only go in the right direction.  This is what Wallace Wattles calls Acting in the Certain Way.

I feel like I have been on a long journey and these experiences have made me stronger and prepared me for something special.  

So when I read  What if the shit is a gift? I thought yes it has been.

Just over a week ago I had to deal with some very negative things that brought back a lot of bad memories and feelings related to being separated from my infant child.  Around the same time I observed a small child about the same age struggling to take his first steps and thought that my child too would be learning to walk by now and I was missing it.  The realization was like a knife stabbed into my heart. 

I also realized that these feeling were not helpful to anyone least of all me.  I resolved that it was time to fully let go.   Not of my love for my child or my expectation (note I do not use the word hope) to be reunited with him one day.  Just of anything that connected me with the negativity of the past year.  This included a decision to turn off the other blog. 

Well this past week has been a major mile stone for me.  A week ago when I resolved to fully let go I really did not appreciate what that entailed.  The last week has been amazing.  I have been overwhelmed by feelings of well being and happiness.  In fact more than that.  LOVE.

It occurred to me that the feelings I have had this past week are probably similar to what a born Christian feels when they believe they are filled with the spirit of Jesus. 

I have deliberately created my own state of euphoria.  I decided to be happy and have made my own happiness.  So is it real some might ask.  Am I in some delusional state of denial of reality? 

What is real?  Is the born again filled with the spirit of Jesus experiencing a more real happiness – from the point of view of a born again they are.  How about a drug addict getting a fix…is their state of euphoria more real or less than mine?   How do you validate happiness?

Years ago I read a short book by John Kehoe called the Practice of Happiness.  It was an inspirational book filled mainly with anecdotal stories but in his book he revealed the secret of happiness.  The secret is so simple that many would dismiss it and even ridicule it.   The secret is to just decide to be happy. 

We really are talking about the power of thoughts to control and direct your state of mind.  I have been working on my happiness for a few months now and avoiding focussing on the negativity.   I did not expect it to be so powerful.   

Another surprise is that there is no room for any feelings of anger and hatred.  They are gone.  There is nothing there anymore.

No one has ever hurt me so deeply and been as vindictive and nasty as my ex-girl friend and mother of my infant son.  At first I thought she was just under the control of the drug addict psychopath who also got her addicted to crystal-meth.  I then came to realize that she was a very active accomplice in many the dastardly deeds perpetrated by the psychopath.  My hurt turned to anger and eventually I even tried to hate her. 

Now if I look at her picture I feel only pity and feelings of love for her.  Not love as before but a compassionate love.  I am also aware that I hurt her deeply and made mistakes and while I don’t believe that my actions can justify what she did to me I accept my responsibility in allowing this psychopath into our lives.  I realize my ex-girl friend is a victim despite her active complicity in games of the psychopath.  So I will help her as well as my child once the Psychopath has abandoned them as I know he will.

If I look at a picture of the Psychopath who deliberately caused me so much pain and suffering the feelings of extreme animosity are also gone.  My feeling is more of indifference and detachment.  I realize how pathetic and sad this person is.   He is only in his mid 30s and already a chronic alcoholic and drug user.  I have also learnt about his estrangement from his family who have not seen or heard from him for more than four years.  My only reservation is that he will continue to hurt everybody that he comes into contact with. 

As for my day to day living, they are seldom in my thoughts.  I do think of my infant son but focus on feelings of love for him and knowing that he is ok.  I miss him.  I know that in the future circumstances will change enabling me to again be part of his life.

The quote “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” by Nietzsche comes to mind after reflecting upon the events of the previous year.  I am definitely stronger as a result of my experiences. 

No one will ever be able to hurt me again nor will I simply react to circumstances allowing them to determine my emotional states.  I am in control as never before.  I am becoming the active creator of my own life and can direct my emotional states.  I now take full responsibility for my life and that also means I have full power.

So in some ways my encounter with the Psychopath was one of serendipity.

I have found myself dragged back into dealing with a very negative matter over the past two days. A psychopath that I had problems with last year has enlisted the help of another nut case and together they published the most false and disgusting allegations about me.

The site they published these allegations on is already totally discredited but there were some things they claimed that needed to be rebutted as circumstantial evidence seemed to suggest I had some involvement.  The old where there is smoke there is fire scenario. 

I have completed the fully and total rebuttal of these allegations and it is time to get back to living my life.

I have learned a valuable lesson from having to revisit this very negative matter.   Some of the bad feelings and anguish started to return as I was forced to focus on formulating the rebuttal.  I have been free of these bad feelings for a few months now and forgot how bad they really are.

This experience has convinced me that it’s time to fully let go.  I have another blog where I wrote about my child being taken away from me.  It was therapeutic to create this blog and vent all my deepest feelings. 

In the blog I attacked the mother and the psychopath who took my son away from me. 

I previously wrote about a message I received about praising and blessing your enemies.  At the time I said I really could not do that but that I had stopped spending time cursing them and instead was starting to focus on positive things.

I actually did stop spending time thinking any negative thoughts towards them and I know I was better off for doing so.   Yet I left the blog running which contains a great deal of negativity and “curses” towards them. 

In leaving this blog I was not being congruent and therefore could not be fully aligned with the universe.  Thus I attracted this problem back to me.  I realize it’s time to follow my own advice to the guy that published the rubbish against me and let go. 

So I have announced I will turn off the blog at the end of the month allowing time for the people directly concerned to read my rebuttal.  I will totally ignore the old blog until it’s time to turn it off.

I know that eventually this matter will resolve itself when the psychopath abandons my ex-girlfriend and the child and I will again be able to see my son.   

In the meantime I have other people in my life including my other children who need me.  It is my duty to be happy for them and give them my love. 

Tomorrow I will wake up to another beautiful new day and wonderful things will happen.

I have been reading some articles by critics of the Law of Attraction. I found a few of particular interest.

The first is titled “Why the Law of Attraction is Wrong, But Why It Still Works” and is found on the Zen Habits forums from Leo.

Leo basically says that the LOA system can work because it encourages people to follow a three step process.

The first step in the process starts with a person actually stating very specifically what he/she wants, which is something Leo acknowledges most people don’t do.

The second step in the process is that it encourages people to focus (think about, visualize, use affirmations etc) on what they want.

The third step in the process is that as a consequence of completing the first two steps people will take action to make it happen. 

This last step actually contradicts the LOA in some ways as the LOA suggests that we just believe and wait to receive and let the universe work in its own mysterious way to manifest our desire.  

Leo’s basic contention is that the LOA is wrong but the people who practice LOA might get results because they follow steps that result in action that helps make their stated desire a reality.  Leo suggests that the final step of taking action naturally follows on from the first two steps and the combination of these will, more likely than not, make desire or goal come true.  This is a logical interpretation of what might be occurring and removes any mystic or cosmic force from the equation.

Leo also rejects the idea that our thoughts can go out into the physical world and can influence it saying that there is no scientific evidence to support the LOA theory and is not scientific.

While I agree with Leo that the LOA is just a theory and cannot be scientifically proven or disproven I disagree with Leo that thoughts cannot influence the physical would. 

The title of this site is the Power of Thoughts and my belief in their power, that they are real forces that extend beyond the limitations of our mind within our physical bodies, is not based on a faith or desire to believe in Supreme Being or cosmic force.  It comes from my own very logical analyses of my total life experience that includes all that I have learnt and observed. 

René Descartes stated “I think, therefore I am” as a starting point for confirming our existence.

Those that accept living their life within the apparent limitations of our physical world and only accepting that which can be scientifically proven are basically saying “I am, therefore I think”.

I will not even attempt to try to prove here the power of thoughts.  I will just say that for me there is just way too much unexplained phenomenon that science has absolutely no explanation for.  There are so many documented cases involving identical twins, idiot savants etc.

I am willing to concede that the LOA might be wrong.  It might not work the way its proponents claim but it is based on ideas that should not be dismissed so quickly.

To me it seems like the Law of Attraction has become a magnet (pun intended) to all the other New Age proponents and they are jumping on the Law Of Attraction band wagon and trying to incorporate it with their particular New Age beliefs. 

Recently I have seen something called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) becoming popular and being linked directly to the Law of Attraction. 

I found this definition of EFT:  

EFT is based on the electrical systems in our body called the meridians. It is an emotional version of acupuncture except that we don’t use needles, instead we stimulate the release points by tapping with our fingertips.

Some of the meridian points ( also called acupuncture or acupressure points) on the skin have actually been measured with very sensitive instruments and the electrical charge there has been higher than in the non meridian points. We can think of the meridians like rivers along which the electricity in our body flows. This flow has been called many other names such as, chi, prana, life force, electromagnetic, electrical or just energy. EFT helps in restoring the energy flow to normal and that helps us feel emotionally and physically healthy.

EFT seems to be a New Age (nice – no needles) version of the old yet to be proven Chinese system of acupuncture with its belief in energy channels running through your body.  While my research has only been very superficial it does seem to me that EFT is a good example of a New Age belief jumping on the Law of Attraction bandwagon.    

I watched some videos and basically the practitioner talks to the subject determining what is troubling them and then gives verbal instructions telling them to release and let go of the feelings or problem and tapping them in a number of places with their fingers.  As I watched the EFT practitioner I was reminded of some aspect of NLP in the way they were working with the subjects. 

Visit any EFT website and you will see how strongly it is being linked to the Law of Attraction.  I remain a sceptic of EFT but believe that its possible people undergoing EFT are helped partly by the power of suggestion and perhaps by the Law of Attraction.

There is an ancient Wiken Rede that finishes “An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will”

This has always sounded good to me and to some extent I adopted it as one of my beliefs.

In hindsight I have hurt some people in relationships along the way all be it not intentionally. I know I have used the Rede as a justification for certain actions that have resulted in harm to others.

The problem is that we are not always able to assess the consequences and impact of our actions on others.

Most societies have laws that restrict the speed at which you can drive on particular roads. Most people understand and accept that these restrictions have been determined to minimize the possibility and severity of accidents.

Despite this individuals continue to speed. They do NOT do so in the belief that they will have an accident – to the contrary they believe they will not otherwise they would slow down.

They are making their own assessment in accordance with the Rede whether or not they have even heard of it.

I am often frustrated by laws which arbitrarily are set to work to the lowest common denominator in society. I resent being restricted or penalized because a law needs to take into account stupid people or other variables such as road condition.

So when it’s a beautiful clear day with virtually no other traffic on the road the temptation is to speed. The only thing that might persuade us against doing so is the threat of a penalty.

Without the laws restricting our speed it would be up to individuals to make their own assessment of what speed is safe which would be similar to following the Rede. I think most people already realize this would not work.

The principle behind the Rede is fundamentally good but there is a risk for it to be used as an excuse to be reckless and selfish.

This examination of the Rede was motivated by work I am doing within Attractor Genie as part of getting down My Vision, My Purpose, My Values and My Identity.

I can say with certainty now that I will not be cancelling the billing for this Attractor Genie software.  It is exactly what I have been looking for.  The more I use it the more I can see it will be beneficial.

In fact the purpose of starting this blog was to establish a habit of focusing my thoughts each day and getting my life back on track.   This attractor genie software will be a much better tool to achieve this than the blog.  I actually leave it open all the time and can jump in and add a note or some inspiration as it comes to mind.

My first entry in my Atractor Genie Gratitude Journal a couple of days ago was this:

Despite almost three years of neglect and minimal effort my business is still providing me with a good income and it will be easily expanded to enable me to reach my new goals.

I really have not worked much at all in the past three years.  If I put all my work time together it might be about the equivalent of three months in a regular job which is one month a year yet I still have an income greater than most people who slave in a regular 9 to 5 job.

In 2008 I totally neglected my hosting business due to a major personal upheaval I have spoken about in previous posts.  In late December I started to look at the figures and state of my business infrastructure and on first appearance it looked very bleak. I even wondered if I had left it too late as it was in sharp decline.

I put a big effort in for a month in to fixing the business infrastructure and realized that there had been changes in the past three years and the business really need a restructure. 

I was thinking about getting back into a positive mode by listing to some of my motivational tapes again and also The Secret but I was still preoccupied with my personal problems.  It was not until I started this blog that I have really started to really get focussed.

The income for month of January and February was not as bad I as I thought it would be.  It seemed I had stopped the decline and the first half of march looked like a continuation which similar figures, but this second half since I started the blog and listening and focusing on positive things slowly start to turn around. Current projections show I will be $500 up on last month and this increase has only occurred in the past week.

I mentioned previously that The Secret website has a free downloadable blank check from the universe which you fill out.   On mine I have written $25,000 which I expect to be my monthly income from this business.   

I understand that for every goal you need to set a target date otherwise it remains not much more than a wish.  I am setting a very achievable and believable target date of December 2009.   Perhaps I am setting my expectations too low as I know that the universe is capable of delivering much more than that in no time at all.  In fact there are no limitations.

It is however important that when you set a goal and work towards it you need to be able to believe it can happen so that you can truly receive.  I look forward to watching my income steadily climb and can easily visualize it already. 

Anyway that is my goal for my current business but this month I have two other very exciting businesses under development and they both look like being gold mines.

I recently got some sort of cold and despite my refusal to accept it I had a few days of congestion, coughing and runny nose.  

I say refusal because a long time ago I decided I would no longer entertain a cold and for the better part of 30 years I have had almost no colds.

A few days ago I posted about my introduction to Mind Power from a meeting with John Kehoe and how my brother who was able to attend his 3 day lecture gave me a copy of the cassette tapes. 

It was on one of those tapes that I heard John discussing health with his audience with regard to the importance of what you tell yourself about yourself.

One guy in the audience announced that ever since he was a small child he told himself that he was the kind of person that never got colds and sure enough he never got colds.

Another guy responded immediately that he had always told himself that he was good for 2 or 3 colds every year and sure enough he would get two or three colds are year.

This had a profound effect on me.  I actually decided from that day on that I too would no longer be the type of person that caught colds and for the most part I have been successful in not succumbing to colds.

In fact I extended this attitude to my health in general.  I decided that I was a healthy person and the type that did not get sick.  This became more than just an affirmation – it became a core belief that I have to this very day.

If anyone is looking for evidence in support of the power of thoughts or the Law of Attraction you cannot go past health.  Putting my anecdotal experience aside there are countless documented stories of how a positive mental attitude has brought about healing and recovery when the best scientific medical opinion said it was impossible.  

Today most Doctors would agree that a patient’s attitude is vitally important to his health and recovery.    So even the conservative medical profession now recognise that a person’s attitude (thinking) directly affects their health.

If your thoughts can directly affect your health then why wouldn’t they be able to affect other aspects of your life also?   It is actually logical to accept they would and for me this is all the proof I need for the Power of thoughts.

Now back to my recent cold.   I am been out of alignment with the universe for almost a year and given my very negative state of mind I am surprised I did not suffer a serious illness in the past year.

 Now I am rapidly moving back into alignment and already enjoy excellent health again.  I will not be succumbing to any more colds in the future.

The web site for the Secret has some great free stuff including the check from the universe.  I have printed it off and filled it out and have it placed where I can see it.  

There is also a desktop widget that will deliver some inspirational wisdom every day.  I have this installed on my system.

I find myself particularly challenged by the message for today

Praising and blessing dissolves all negativity. So praise and bless your enemies.  If you curse your enemies, the course will come back to harm you.  If you praise and bless them, you will resolve all negativity and discord, and the love of the praising and blessing will return to you.  As you praise and bless, you will feel yourself shift into a new frequency with the feedback of good feelings. 

Sounds very New Testament like TURN THE OTHER CHEEK and LOVE THY ENEMY.

If this message had been presented to me a year ago I would not have had much trouble accepting it.  I am not the type of person to hold a grudge and had I been asked if I had any enemies I would have said no.   There was really no one I hated.  Maybe some I disliked but I would not waste my time and energy even thinking about them.

This all changed when a psychopath entered my life and poisoned the mind of my then girl friend and mother to my baby son.   The poison was both mentally and physically as the guy got her addicted to drugs.

I have just come out a living hell as they played with me and taunted me.  For some 4 or 5 months the guy would hide behind the bedroom door of my girl friend’s apartment when I visited.   For him it was a big game and she soon became a very active participant.   During the first few months of this the guy still pretended to be my friend while he fed lies and half-truths back to my girl friend.

The depth of deception and hurt was such that I experienced a range of extreme emotions including defeat, betrayal, depression, hatred and revenge.   Talk about vibrating negatively to the universe. 

In the past month I have moved to a positive frame of mind and can actually write about this with some detachment.   I suspect it is my knowledge of NLP in practice.

To ask me now to praise and bless my enemies is to say the very least a challenge.   I think it an accomplishment that I have been able to deal with it enough that I can stop spending my time cursing them and focus on more positive things. 

I know all the feelings are still there and the matter is far from resolved.  I am not in denial about it nor am I just suppressing it.  I just need to put it in perspective and get on with my life.

So Praising and blessing my enemies.  I am just not ready for that at this time.   The best I can do for now is be vigilant in curbing any negativity towards them.

Before finding out about the Law of Attraction I had come up with my own law that was similar but not as comprehensive in its explanation of how things work.   I called it the law of expectation.

Put simply I had observed all my life that we generally got whatever we expected.   While people may have aspired or expressed a desire for something more, they actually only received what they felt they were worthy to receive. 

I concluded that most people put their expectations too low.   As children we have wonderful dreams and plans but these “unrealistic” notions are “educated” out of us as we get older.

I also saw our western Christian heritage as having a negative effect on many people’s expectations with its feelings of guilt and unworthiness. 

The law of expectation also seemed to explain why people born into wealth seem to be able to easily acquire wealth while those born into relative poverty stay there.

It also seemed that people that were oblivious to obstacles or otherwise not constrained by the concept of realistic expectations were able to achieve great things that “normal” people were not.  To my mind this further proved my law of expectation.  

I observed that it was a few that dared to dream and felt worthy of more that actually got more.   I concluded that all we needed to do was to raise our own expectations. 

This idea was playing in the back of my mind for a few years and I actually raised my own expectations in life and did get more in terms of better jobs, income and even my love life.

Then I was introduced to The Secret and realized that my law of expectation was just a part of the Law of Attraction that provided a far better explanation.   I was not completely wrong but there were vital parts missing.

My law of expectation is really the receiving part of the law of attraction.  The part where you believe and vibrate out to the universe what you really know it will give you.